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In this introductory chapter we present the ambitions, objectives and structure of this book. We define what violence in intimate relationships is and offer some insight into the contemporary theoretical debates on violence in intimate relationships, as set out by sociologist Michael P. Johnson’s typologies about partner violence.

In this short chapter we outline the three sub-studies which comprise the basis of this book. We give an account of the selection process for those men we have interviewed in this qualitative study, and the kinds of violence of which they have been victim. We also outline our methods of interview and analysis and the ethical aspects of interviewing victims of violence.

This chapter is based on a review of key Nordic prevalence studies that chart violence against men in intimate relationships, with emphasis on Norwegian studies. In this book we will not go through this work in depth, but give a brief summary of the findings of those studies we have included, with our greatest focus being on the consequences of the violence for men and the kinds of help men seek. In this chapter we also present the part of our study investigating the level of awareness in Norway of the support available through crisis centres, family protection services and centres against incest and sexual abuse, and the awareness that these bodies also offer help to men.

In this chapter we present men’s experience of intimate partner violence and discuss their experiences in the light of Michael P. Johnson’s typologies of intimate partner violence. We also offer descriptions of some of the men’s childhood experiences of violence. To the best of our knowledge, there are few narrative studies on men’s experiences with partner violence that have investigated men’s childhood experiences, and we have therefore chosen to devote a relatively large amount of the chapter to this subject. The interview studies are part of a visibility project. Both in the Nordic and international contexts, there are few qualitative studies of men’s experiences of partner violence. In this chapter we look in detail at men’s experiences, asking: When and where does the violence occur? How they have experienced this violence? What have the consequences been on their health, working life and relationships with other people? Several of the men’s stories share common features and also bear similarities to those presented in earlier research on the experiences of women victims of violence. The participants from immigrant backgrounds all describe a childhood in which it was quite common for children to be hit, especially by fathers, but also teachers and other people in authority. They are reluctant to call it violence; it was so common in their experience that they saw nothing special about it. As we will see in this chapter, the interviews reveal a complex variety of reasons for the men having ended up in violent relationships.

It has been well documented in a host of studies that partner violence leads to many and various consequences for victims. Our study shows that self-reproach, shame of being a victim of violence and social anxiety seem to be universal, rather than gendered, phenomena among people who experience violence from those who are close to them. Those men who have lived in violent relationships have taken time to recognise and process the violence to which they have been subjected.

This chapter is based on interviews with ten men who have sought help for sexual abuse. Most of these men have additionally experienced other forms of physical and psychological violence, as well as childhood neglect. Their experiences with these various forms of violence are described here in detail, as are the differing consequences these have had for the men involved.

This chapter illuminates men’s experiences with support agencies. First, we investigate men’s help-seeking and their perception of the help they require. We highlight men’s experiences with family counselling services before focusing on men’s experiences of the services offered at crisis centres and at centres against incest and sexual abuse. Several of the men express the feeling that these centres have saved their lives. However, men find it problematic that women and men are kept separate in crisis centres and suggest it detracts from the service offered to them. We conclude the chapter with concrete proposals for action.

This chapter opens with a discussion about Johnson’s (2008) concepts of intimate terrorism and situational violence. We found that the majority of the men we interviewed have been subjected to intimate terrorism, which provides the basis for a renewed theorisation of domestic violence. Traditional patriarchal values are not the sole source of such violence. Theories must be expanded to include complex psychological mechanisms and the need for control across genders. The main focus of research within men’s studies to date has been on men as perpetrators; however, our material shows that there is a need for more nuanced research on men as victims to understand masculinity/ies in a contemporary context. It highlights that structural theories about gender must be supplemented with more psychological and phenomenological theories to achieve a greater understanding of domestic violence as a whole.